We have to be careful about the articles we publish on TDWTF. We have a responsibility to our submitters, to protect their identity and anonymize the details of their stories. We have a responsibility to our readers- mostly to be entertaining.
Last week’s JSF–k story failed one of our readers. Poor Blazej didn’t find it entertaining- it gave him upsetting flashbacks to his own experience with a similar event.
You see, Blazej was pitching in on a file uploading site, specifically meant to share videos. While he did some backend work, the front-end developers wanted to make sure that it was impossible to ever learn the actual URL of a video, to prevent people from downloading it. They wrote some JavaScript to obfuscate that URL, but that introduced a new problem: somebody could just read their JavaScript!
Using the same principles as JSF–k, but coupled with JavaScript’s unicode support, they produced this:
ﾟωﾟﾉ= /｀ｍ´）ﾉ ~┻━┻ //*´∇｀*/ ['_']; o=(ﾟｰﾟ) =_=3; c=(ﾟΘﾟ) =(ﾟｰﾟ)-(ﾟｰﾟ); (ﾟДﾟ) =(ﾟΘﾟ)= (o^_^o)/ (o^_^o);(ﾟДﾟ)={ﾟΘﾟ: '_' ,ﾟωﾟﾉ : ((ﾟωﾟﾉ==3) +'_') [ﾟΘﾟ] ,ﾟｰﾟﾉ :(ﾟωﾟﾉ+ '_')[o^_^o -(ﾟΘﾟ)] ,ﾟДﾟﾉ:((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_')[ﾟｰﾟ] }; (ﾟДﾟ) [ﾟΘﾟ] =((ﾟωﾟﾉ==3) +'_') [c^_^o];(ﾟДﾟ) ['c'] = ((ﾟДﾟ)+'_') [ (ﾟｰﾟ)+(ﾟｰﾟ)-(ﾟΘﾟ) ];(ﾟДﾟ) ['o'] = ((ﾟДﾟ)+'_') [ﾟΘﾟ];(ﾟoﾟ)=(ﾟДﾟ) ['c']+(ﾟДﾟ) ['o']+(ﾟωﾟﾉ +'_')[ﾟΘﾟ]+ ((ﾟωﾟﾉ==3) +'_') [ﾟｰﾟ] + ((ﾟДﾟ) +'_') [(ﾟｰﾟ)+(ﾟｰﾟ)]+ ((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_') [ﾟΘﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_') [(ﾟｰﾟ) - (ﾟΘﾟ)]+(ﾟДﾟ) ['c']+((ﾟДﾟ)+'_') [(ﾟｰﾟ)+(ﾟｰﾟ)]+ (ﾟДﾟ) ['o']+((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_') [ﾟΘﾟ];(ﾟДﾟ) ['_'] =(o^_^o) [ﾟoﾟ] [ﾟoﾟ];(ﾟεﾟ)=((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_') [ﾟΘﾟ]+ (ﾟДﾟ) .ﾟДﾟﾉ+((ﾟДﾟ)+'_') [(ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟｰﾟ)]+((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_') [o^_^o -ﾟΘﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ==3) +'_') [ﾟΘﾟ]+ (ﾟωﾟﾉ +'_') [ﾟΘﾟ]; (ﾟｰﾟ)+=(ﾟΘﾟ); (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]='\\'; (ﾟДﾟ).ﾟΘﾟﾉ=(ﾟДﾟ+ ﾟｰﾟ)[o^_^o -(ﾟΘﾟ)];(oﾟｰﾟo)=(ﾟωﾟﾉ +'_')[c^_^o];(ﾟДﾟ) [ﾟoﾟ]='\"';(ﾟДﾟ) ['_'] ( (ﾟДﾟ) ['_'] (ﾟεﾟ+(ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟoﾟ]+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (!+[]+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (!+[]+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (+!+[])+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (ﾟΘﾟ))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(+!+[])+ ((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((o^_^o) +(o^_^o) +(c^_^o))+ (-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+(-~-~(!+[]+!+[]))+ ((c^_^o)+(c^_^o))+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟεﾟ]+((ﾟｰﾟ) + (o^_^o))+ (-~-~1)+ (ﾟДﾟ)[ﾟoﾟ]) (ﾟΘﾟ)) ('_');
My feelings on this? (⊙…⊙ )
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